What “Workers and Friends” think should not be the controlling force in your life!!!
The risk of being addicted to others' approval is that you end up living your life for other people.
- Are you obsessed with what people, including the “Workers and Friends” think about you?
- Does your life revolve around getting everyone's approval?
- Are you miserable if people, including the “Workers and Friends” disapprove of you?
- Do you feel their disapproval or rejection means that you’re not good enough?
- Do you work hard at being "good?”
- Do you believe you must have love or approval from the significant people in your life?
- Are you overly responsible taking on the responsibility of others?
- Do you depend on others approval to give you a sense of self-worth?
- Do you say "yes" to others to please them although you really want to say "no?"
- Do you lack self-confidence in your skills, abilities, and knowledge?
- Do you fear rejection or conflict?
- Is your best never good enough for you?
- Do you suppress your creative talents and expressions?
- If you do something that someone doesn't approve of, do you feel very guilty?
If you answered "yes" to any of those questions, it's time for an "Approval Makeover."
Living as an approval addict is a very hard way to live. You have to constantly make sure you say the right thing, do the right, and look right in order to get the needed love and approval. Your feelings are on a roller coaster – from feeling the wonderful feelings that come from getting your love or approval “fix” to feeling the despair that comes when your “supply” – the source of your love and approval - shuts down, gets angry or judgmental, or goes away.
Constantly worrying about what others think can make you feel like a rat in a maze. You hurriedly run this way and that, looking for the exit--for someone's approval.
But you can't seem to get there, so you run faster and faster and try harder and harder until you're exhausted. You feel frustrated and depressed. And, you harbor great resentment at not being able to measure up to other people's standards.
Is there a way out of this trap? I can tell you with certainty that there is. But it's not going to be easy. This is the kind of makeover that's not an instant fix. You won't make this change in a few quick, simple steps. It's going to take time and determination on your part, but believe me, it's well worth the effort.
God is eager to help you!!!
The best part about making this major life-change is that God is eager to help you every step of the way. He doesn't want you to live a shrunken, unhappy life.
"HE" wants you to thrive!
If you haven't been thriving up to now, it's time you accepted the truth that you can escape these negative feelings. You can get out from under the lie that what others think is necessary for you to live a contented, fulfilled life.
Let's begin with an empowering truth:
Here is a truth for thriving:
- Most people are extremely self-centered.
You can prove that's true by looking at yourself. If you were to keep track of all the hundreds of thoughts you have on a typical day, the vast majority of them, perhaps 90 percent, would be about yourself. "How am I going to...?" "What did he think of me when I...?" "I wonder if I made her angry when I...?"
Get the picture? Much of our thought-life is filled with "I's" and "me's". That's just the way we are.
But here's the good part about that truth:
Other people including the “Workers and Friends” are the same way! They're not as concerned about you as you think. They're mostly concerned about themselves. We put way too much emphasis on what others think about us. Like you, when they are thinking about other people, it's mainly in relation to themselves. This knowledge can be a major tool in helping you break the cycle of "Approval Addiction."
Suddenly, you understand that the approval of the workers isn't as important as you once thought, because they may be trying to manipulate you to make themselves feel more powerful or in control. You realize that you don't have to give them that authority over you.
Yes, we have to meet our employer's expectations, and yes, we do have to honor our father and mother--as long as that does not involve disobeying God.
But your completeness, your contentment doesn't depend on the approval of the “Friends or Workers. It depends, instead, on your acceptance by God.
Accepted and approved by God!!!
When you believe in Jesus Christ as your savior, you gain “HIS” approval and acceptance. You become one of God's adopted children. God gave “HIS” people the Ten Commandments, and our obedience of those laws is pleasing to “HIM.” We all fail from time to time. Your sins are unacceptable to God, but you are accepted.
See the difference? Our acceptance by God is through the sacrifice and grace of Jesus Christ, not through our performance. We cannot become acceptable or gain salvation by works.
As a believer, you have God's approval.
While the approval of other people, including the “Workers and Friends” might be reassuring or desirable, it is not necessary for your completeness. Your adequacy, lovability, and feelings of self-worth and self-esteem should not come from others liking you and approving of you.
You will gain a sense of strength and fulfillment when you obey God. God loves your obedience. And the more you love God, the more you will want to obey him.
Obeying God can often lead to the approval of people, but we don't obey God because we're worried about what others think.
We obey God out of love and gratitude for him and for Jesus' sacrifice for us.
When we choose to imitate Jesus, we spend less and less time trying to influence what others think, and more time rejoicing over our approval and acceptance by God.
As you follow Christ and walk in his ways, your confidence grows. The Holy Spirit convicts you of God's love for you. You come to see that staying faithful to God is what matters.
The approval of others may come and go, but God's love is solid, unconditional, and everlasting.
