Hello everyone,
I just signed onto this list today, so thought it would be good to
introduce myself.
I'm from Illinois, just outside Chicago but grew up in Ireland where I left in '87. I grew up in "truth" and there was a Sunday morning meeting in our home. I "professed" when I was 14 but left at 16. I re-professed when I came to the U.S. at Blackwater convention in '87 and stayed in until about a year ago.
Long story short, I went through a very hard life experience about 2 years ago which prompted me to examine very closely what was "real" in my life.
I realized that I had been shaped into somebody I wasn’t and yearned to find "me" again.
I did some deep soul searching and found that what I believed to be true about God, was indeed not.
I realized that I had convinced myself all these years that what the workers said about the bible/God was correct and that my questions/disbeliefs were due to my "rebellious" nature.
I started studying the bible like never before.
I started listening in meeting like never before.
Lo and behold, a whole new God was revealing himself to me!!!
I remember going to convention last year and I so badly wanted to stand up, give my testimony and mention that this new God who had revealed himself to me is one of love and kindness and not some distant figure who is standing over me with his finger pointed like Uncle Sam waiting for me to slip up!
- I wanted to say my new God doesn't think I’m a failure.
- My new God doesn't have expectations of me that I could never attain to.
- My new God never pours guilt or shame on me.
- Oh, how I LOVE my new GOD!
At that convention, I was so displeased with what I heard from the platform.
I had prayed before going that if the "truth" really was where I needed to be, then I needed a sign/encouragement/enlightenment. Oh, I got enlightened alright and there wasn't just one sign there were 100s!
Some might say that I heard what I wanted to hear in order to:
- have what I want.
- leave
- to do what I want.
- believe what I want.
However, I did NOT want to leave the church and I had prayed that God would show me the truth.
I came away from that convention very sad and with a heavy heart.
I had a HUGE decision to make and I had 3 children to think of, two of whom were professing. I was separated from my husband at that time who no longer went to meetings so at least I knew there would be no problems there in regards to my decision. However my mother was still professing in Ireland and my brother in California. My other 3 siblings left the meetings many years ago.
I came home and prayed and prayed and prayed. A few days later, I sat down at the computer and wrote an email to my elder and his wife telling them what was on my mind. I was so nervous sending that email off and knew that once
I hit that "send" button there was no turning back.
I nearly fell off my chair when I received a reply back from her within an hour.
She and her husband (our Sunday morning elder!!!) were thinking the same thoughts as I was and that they too, had been thinking about having the meeting taken out of their home and leaving altogether.
I can't tell you how that made me feel. All of a sudden I knew I didn't have to do this alone.
God knew! I had some wonderful spiritual visits with my elder and his wife many times after that and we just tore the bible apart.
We were 100% convinced after all our studies that we were "abiding" in a religion that preaches false doctrine.
We wanted no part of that.
So, I decided that it would be better for me and my kids to leave first as I didn't want my elder and his wife being "blamed" for leading me and my family out! I sent a letter to each one in our meeting and to the workers in our field briefly explaining why I was leaving (issues with doctrine).
I heard back from no one except for one of the sister workers who stated that she was sorry to see us go but that she understood that we were on our own "spiritual journey".
So that will be one year ago in a few weeks and I have to say I have grown so much in the last year! God has been so good and so kind and I have been so blessed. My eyes are so wide open now, there's hardly a thing I miss!
I see his hand in everything.
I have no regrets however except for one because all my experiences have led me to the place where I am now.
My one regret however is the way I treated those who spoke the TRUTH about the "truth", ie, ex's. I was a hardcore “truther,” being from Ireland and its strict/legalistic truth system.
I told my uncle who had left the truth back in the early 90's, that he was never to speak to me about William Irvine or against the workers ever again. I told his brother that he should not allow him into the house if he is going to speak
such things.
For that I am ashamed and I have since apologized.
I'm so sorry for going on so long. For those of you who have struggled through it... thanks for "listening"!!!!
P.S. I went to convention last weekend for a day on the request of a good friend. I have some "gems" if you would like me to share on here?
Love,
Sandra Pierce
(Posted to the Two-by-Two List on August 18, 20007)
Here are the Convention Gems:
Testimonies:
One gentleman stated that some people had taken vacation days to come to convention. He was glad that for him convention was not vacation but salvation.
Story of 2 vessels: one a luxury/pleasure liner filled with entertainment and what appeals to the eye. The other a rescue boat, not pleasant to look at but the only one that can save our life.
Obvious by looking at someone that they are not walking with God
No one mentioned grace or what God/Christ can DO for us. Most was about the struggles of serving God. One person in testimony stood up and gave thanks and praise to God. She was the only one.
Ron Thomke (worker):
Even though Christ died for us; if we make a wrong choice(s) then Christ’s death means nothing for us.
- Law commands obedience.
- Obedience = no foolish choices.
- No foolish choices = salvation
- Obedience = wisdom
“No need for higher education, just simple obedience”. “I have more understanding than all my teachers……. because I am obedient”.
“If you don’t keep the law and its precepts you cannot be right with God”.
- "Precepts are the practical aspect of serving God. What we need to be doing.”
- "Doing what you know = understanding"
- "The “doing” is the only way we will receive understanding.”
- “There is one right way and many evil ways”.
God has not given us the power to walk on water, instead he has given us two feet to walk away from wrong choices/refrain from evil ways.
Evil ways = entertainment/expensive hobbies or sports/recreation/dangerous activities/what others deem not acceptable and which might be end up being an embarrassment to us.
- “Anything that hinders you being obedient is evil.”
- “The ‘world’ doesn’t like to meditate but rather they prefer to just turn on entertainment.
- "The “world” cannot stand to be alone with their own thoughts.”
- “What do those in the world have to think about that is good anyway”?
- “That is why they turn on entertainment; to get away from their evil thoughts”.
Mark Peters (worker):
- Jesus fulfilled the law and we need to fulfill it as well.
Kim Swanson (worker):
- Serving God is a life long struggle
