This is a passage from a book by Johanna Michaelsen titled,
"Like Lambs To The Slaughter."
You will find this passage very appropriate to many of our 2x2 situations.........
"Those children who have been raised in a LEGALISTIC home or church in which nothing they can ever do is good enough, are at a tragic disadvantage.
They will indeed, in all probability, grow to be guilt-ridden adults whose only aim is to destroy the institutions and beliefs that have caused them such pain and produced such an awareness of guilt.
LEGALISTIC, unloving, unforgiving cults and churches that do not understand or grasp the love, mercy, forgiveness, and unbounded Grace of the Lord, have most assuredly done the world and God a terrible disservice.
LEGALISM has driven more wounded, angry souls into the arms of New Age, the occult, atheism, and Satanism than we will ever know.
It is not hard to see why!!
God will indeed hold responsible those who have set themselves up as ministers and teachers (workers) for not teaching the full counsel of "HIS" Word!!!
They have preached "HIS" justice and righteous anger at sin without ever telling the people that this same God has made a provision for that sin.
"For God so loved the world that "HE" gave "HIS" only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in "HIM" should not perish, but have everlasting life."
This passage clearly presents an awesome revelation of two aspects of God's character:
Yes, "HE" is love - - abounding, merciful, unending love that reaches out to man and makes a gift to him of God's only begotten Son.
But, it also tells us WHY "HE" has done so. It is so that those who accept that love may not perish in the judgment that "HIS" perfect righteousness demands.
God cannot exercise one aspect of "HIS" character at the expense of the other. To make a positive assertion will never erase the fingerprint of God on the soul of man. The endless chanting of, "I am a perfect person" may blunt your conscience, but it will not heal your soul.
The solution lies simply in recognizing the truth of our condition and coming to God for forgiveness and restoration.
"But God demonstrates "HIS" own love toward us, in that while we were YET sinners, Christ dies for us."
Mind you, this is one of the toughest propositions for those steeped in the cult of self-worship to swallow! As Paul Vitz observes in his, "Psychology as Religion" - - The Cult of Self-Worship:"
"For the Christian, the self is the problem, not the potential paradise. Understanding this problem involves an awareness of sin, especially of the sin of PRIDE..........correcting this condition requires the practice of such un-self-actualized states as contrition and penitence, humility, obedience, and trust in God."
The Bible says, "If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us........If we say that we have not sinned, we make "HIM" a liar, and "HIS" Word is not in us."
And yet, the Lord is the one who says, "I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for "MY" own sake, and I will not remember your sin."
"If we confess our sins, 'HE" is faithful and righteous to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Le Bon Quote on "GROUPS:"
A group is an obedient herd, which could never live without a master.
It has such a thirst for obedience that it submits instinctively to anyone who appoints himself its master.
Although, in this way, the needs of a group carry it half-way to meet the leader, yet, he too must fit in with it in his personal qualities. He must himself be held in fascination by a strong faith (in an idea) in order to awaken the group's faith, he must possess a strong and imposing will, which the group, which has no will of its own, can accept from him.
Toxic Faith
Is Your Faith Toxic?
Toxic faith is a destructive and dangerous relationship with a religion that allows the religion, not the relationship with God, to control your life.
Whether handed down, learned later in life, supported by others, or reinforced by denial, toxic beliefs take root and spoil your relationship with God.
In this cover-up mode, where the inside is dirty, one tries to clean up the outside so one "LOOKS" spotless.
Believing it is behavior that gains entrance into heaven is a no win situation that can drive you crazy.
In a toxic church, you will deny how you really feel and delay dealing with the pain you feel.
If you don't have the right to be angry, you will become powerless, unable to stand for what is right.
In a toxic church, anyone who communicates why the group is not practicing true faith, must be rejected.
In toxic faith, dependency on a religious group removes the need for dependency on God.
We can end our frustration of trying to become perfect or powerful. God took care of that problem when "HE" sent Christ to form the bridge between finite man and infinite God.
Wanting a relationship with those 'HE" loved so much, God provided "HIS" Son to cover the payment necessary for your sin.
"HE" was your substitute on the CROSS."
- - -Comments- - -
Thoughts arising lately:
How did being B&R in the truth effect our sense of self?
How did being B&R effect our boundaries?
I think the recent events on the list illustrate the issue of boundaries - rigid boundaries vs. no boundaries. I would like to hear people's experiences and thoughts on the issue of boundaries and their 2x2 experience.
For me, growing up in a 2x2 family and system, boundaries were either rigid or they did not exist.
I did not feel I was allowed to think for myself, a symptom of "no boundaries." My head was invaded by what I was expected to conform to and I did not feel free to even think privately.
On the other hand, the "rigid boundaries" I experienced were a black and white, all or nothing mentality - no middle ground. A closed system within our family and within the 2x2 system.
An example would be the Amish - they isolate themselves from the rest of the world, although I think they have become more of an open system as they sell their goods to the world. But I don't know enough about the Amish to speak of, just using them as an example of a closed system, if it fits.
The residue of this boundary issue is that I have had a life-long struggle to learn appropriate boundaries. I often want to escape relationships the minute I sense any type of expectation whatsoever.
It has always been difficult for me in the working world, as expectations remind me of being confined in a prison where I am not allowed to even think my own thoughts. I know, intellectually, and have slowly learned and improved, that expectations are part of being an adult and living in an adult world, but I was ill prepared for that world. I grew up in a closed world, where I did not learn how to operate outside of it.
When I chose to leave it, I only had the tools to function in the closed 2x2 world and didn't know how to act without that world enclosing me.
I had to discover myself through trial and error, a painful process. The near-death experience I had, and many other experiences, have revealed my true and authentic self to me and that has been my spiritual pathway. I think this topic is worth visiting. I don't think anyone can "CHOOSE GOD" as someone just advised He wants us to do, if they do not feel they even exist as an individual to begin with! How can a person make a choice if that person doesn't even know who they are? Today I am free to choose because I know myself and continue to learn about myself.
I have not articulated this well, but want to bring it up as a topic for those who are interested in it or can relate to it in some way.
Let's not re-visit the rules/guidelines of the list and confusion about those, but stick to our experiences with these issues as ex or current 2x2s.
I have an aversion to rules and expectations and have to have a lot of personal space as a result. I have learned to conform to society's rules and have been able to function more efficiently in the world as a result, but this is an ongoing issue and I want to continue to grow and learn. I am looking at this within myself again, thanks to this list, which serves me well in my personal growth.
It is my guess that people who were not B&R, but converted later in life prior to leaving, would have less trouble with this issue. And, it is my guess, that some of us have trouble with having rigid boundaries and others of us struggle with having no boundaries more so on one side or the other.
Perhaps we all flip-flop between the two?
Name Withheld
Posted on the Two-by-Two List on September 7, 2004
Regarding your comment about an "all or nothing" mentality.... I was not born and raised in the 2x2 group. I joined at the age of 21.
I am now out about two years but have a real "all or nothing" bent to my personality.
I did not have this before I joined the 2x2 group.
I can't say for certain whether the years in it (23) developed it, or perhaps the characteristic would have developed on its own regardless.
The "all or nothing" thinking, in a way, contributed to my leaving the group.
I began to see many spiritual deficiencies in the group and ultimately cast the "nothing to do with it" vote for myself.
Since leaving, I have been doing things that I would never have allowed myself to do while in the group.
Name Withheld
Posted on the Two-by-Two List on September 7, 2004
