Like many other rules in the kingdom, things can change and exceptions can be made for certain people. However, workers strongly discourage dating and marrying someone who isn't professing. You may get a worker talk. Or you may be told to keep your mouth shut in the Sunday morning and Wednesday night meetings. Maybe the workers need to breed more young people so some wouldn't have to travel several states away to find a mate.
Again, never question the workers on various issues and keep a right spirit!:)
Kenion Coleman asked us not to resent correction from God's servants even if it doesn't seem to make sense.
Skinny
Posted on November 6, 2007
Hi,
What about the case of a 2x2 marrying an ex-2x2? My wife was still a member and I'd been 'out' for 6 years when we married. She was not booted out, but was expected to not take the emblems for 12 months. I'm not sure that she was actually given this instruction, but at that time it was the usual 'punishment' in our part of the world.
About 5 years later, I challenged Tommie Gamble and Bertie Anderson (No. 1 and 2 workers in Ireland at that time) about the treatment of my wife. My notes on the conversation are as follows:
~~~~~~~
RJK asked why ZFK was not given the sacraments for 1 year after her marriage. RJK said it gave him the impression that the workers believed that ZFK had 'polluted' herself by marrying him, and he felt insulted by this inference.
BA replied that they did not approve of converts marrying individuals who were not 'in the Lord'.
RJK responded that he resented BA's judgment of him, and pointed out that BA knew nothing of RJK's relationship with the Lord or RJK's moral standards, which RJK knew to be higher than many of the converts.
BA retracted his statement, and rephrased it to say that marriage to someone who is 'not in the fellowship' is not approved.
I'm interested to hear if any others have been in a similar situation.
Best wishes
Robert
Posted on November 7, 2007
I think the workers fear the loss of open homes and wanting to pressure young people to marry someone who would allow the workers to spend the night at their home. Selfishness. Just human nature and I understand how one looks out for their own interests. But why put divisions between the man and wife.
Skinny
Posted on November 8, 2007
The whole religion separates men (and women) from life.
Freedom
Posted on November 10, 2007
The doctrine of separation, based on a few misapplied scriptures, remains a significant feature of our church. I believe that this is the basis for the policy against marrying "outsiders". It is not, as one poster suggests, a selfish fear of a loss of open homes.
I am grateful to have been raised in a family which did not subscribe to the doctrine of separation. My father was keenly aware of it and we lived as an integral part of our community, a view I hold today. I well remember as a child my father explaining the authority for living as a part of the community. It was Jesus' words in the verse preceding the one quoted by Brick in John 17:
"I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil."
This indicates that Jesus acknowledges that we are "in the world", that's an inescapable fact. The prayer is not that God would separate us from the world, but would simply keep us from the evil of the world. I think that many believers intuitively understand the truth of this. Just as the men who came out of the fiery furnace completely unharmed, so God is able to keep people untainted from the evil of the world while being right in its midst. That doesn't mean it's ok to go out and join the Hell's Angels (although I suppose it's possible to do so as a mission), but it certainly means that closeting oneself in their homes is completely unnecessary as Jesus clearly calls for one's light to shine in the world, not covered up.
Similarly in marrying outsiders. While it may or may not be advisable for everyone, I do believe that there have been many God-inspired examples of this where both the "outsider" and the "insider" greatly benefited from their marriage to each other.
Just my rant for the day.
Clearday
Posted on November 10, 2007
I married an "outsider" 33 years ago. We have a wonderful marriage, but spiritually we are like water and oil. We are in the same cup, but separate. We are not to be unequally yoked but how awful to be "equally yoked" and in a loveless marriage. I would marry this kind, loving man all over again.
Where I live no one is in trouble for marrying an "outsider". I am sorry for those who suffer because of it.
Lizzy
Posted on November 10, 2007
My situation is that I was raised in the way.
I left the way for several years. I returned to meetings and did not profess for a long time. I also was engaged to an "outsider" and definitely planned to marry this "outsider." We married & my spouse started coming to meetings. My spouse and I both professed. My spouse was once divorced due to an unfaithful spouse (per the one reason acceptable for divorce). My spouse was told they could take part in the meetings, however, I would not be able to take part for a while. It was told to me that I would be able to take part soon if I was of a good report. The reason why I couldn't take part was because I "knew better" than to marry "outside" and "divorced".
These judgments of others and the ruling over the "truth" people have not drawn me closer to "truth" but farther away than ever. I do not hate "truth" or those in it, however, I am not drawn to such a people to have fellowship.
I still know that God/Jesus is good and right and his way is the way to follow. The rules made by man do not separate me from finding God. It is sad to hear other stories like mine and to know that "rules" made by man separate people from having fellowship with one another or even sometimes a spouse.
Someday maybe their eyes will be opened??
Still for God
Posted on November 11, 2007
