If it's not a love letter, it's a hate letter!
I can give you good examples of how this Black or White thing works.
When a worker is in the work, he is worshiped and White.
No matter what this worker does or says, he is White.
If the worker wants to leave the work to get married, he falls off the pedestal and is Black.
Now, no matter what this worker says or does, he is Black.
He will be accused of any number of things.
He will not be as credible or right as a worker that is still White.
Elder sexually harassed professing wives for years, coming to their houses when their husbands were at work, chasing them around the house, making them feel uncomfortable, rubbing up against them. Elder did this because he himself was raised in a family of abuse. Elder is an elder and has a child in the work so he is White so everyone turns a blind eye to his sin and welcomes him as White no matter what he does.
Husband and Wife, a married professing couple, move to the area. Elder should have been dealt with by the workers long before this couple came to the area, but, remember, everyone overlooked Elder's "shortcomings" and "kept a right spirit" by not reporting Elder, because Elder is White.
Wife is different than most professing wives. She is not afraid to say what she thinks and she doesn't care who hears her say it. She is not afraid to speak truth. Wife does not fit the mold of the perfect meek professing wife that the others in the area are, so immediately she is Black, and they sympathize with Husband for putting up with her, so he is White.
No matter what good Wife says or does, she is Black. No matter what bad Husband says or does, he is excused and is White.. They excuse Husband by saying, "Everyone makes mistakes!" because he is White. Everything bad that happens in their family is Wife's fault because she is Black.
Elder is their elder and while Husband is at work, Elder begins to pay visits to Wife and he is up to his old tricks, even taking his abuse a bit farther. Wife reports what happened and is not believed because she is Black even though the same thing happened to all the other wives in the area! Elder is told to apologize to Wife and he does, but blames her in the process. This is acceptable because Elder is still White. Wife is also told to apologize to Elder in case she did anything to provoke him because she probably did since she is Black. Husband, influenced by the opinion of the area 2x2, and not being able to get angry at Elder about the situation due to having to keep a right spirit and keep him White, begins to take the anger out on Wife and sees Wife as Black and accuses her of provoking Elder.
Elder is White and will never be anything but White no matter what he does as long he stays inside the protection of the 2x2.
Wife is Black and will never be anything but Black and blamed no matter if she has lived a completely sinless life.
Husband is White and will never be anything but White no matter what as long as he doesn't stand up for Black Wife and as long as he keeps Elder White and as long as he buys the 2x2 beliefs and worships the White workers.
White people have no idea how it feels to be Black.
Recent Update:
Divorced Husband now is an elder and has meeting in his home.
How can a divorced man be an elder and have meeting in his home?
He is White!
Posted on the TMB
Name Withheld
Black or White Thinking
Cognitive Rigidity
What is referred to as Black or White thinking is indicative of thinking patterns that are out of the norm of society.
Black or White thinking is when you believe something either has to be one thing or another, or one way or another; good or bad, right or wrong, all or nothing.
The entire world is viewed in Black or White terms.
Cultism usually involves some sort of belief that outside the cult, all is evil and threatening, inside the cult is the special path to salvation through the cult leader and his teachings.
The indoctrination techniques include:
(1.) Subjection to stress and fatigue
(2.) Social disruption, isolation and pressure
(3.) Self criticism and humiliation
(4.) Fear, anxiety, and paranoia
(5.) Control of information
(6.) Escalating commitment
Black or White thinking starts in early childhood.
Growing up in the Two-by-Two's, Black or White Thinking was like an infection!!
It reduced or eliminated regular discussion and did away with an entire range of possible ideas for NORMAL and enjoyable conversation. Our round the table conversations has to focus on who wasn't "getting out to meeting," or "who was losing out," or someone's testimony about going in the work.
It demonized others by implicitly categorizing them with Two-by-Two "White" thinking – they were the evil world that we were supposed to avoid.
We clearly learned specific categories that created Black or White thinking and these represented good and evil, and right and wrong.
- We learned that "White "good and right" thinking" was attending lots of meetings and worshiping the workers and we learned that "Black 'evil and wrong' Thinking" was participating in what the "world" participated in.
- We learned "White "good and right" thinking" would take us to heaven but "Black evil and wrong thinking" would take us to hell.
- We learned White "good and right" thinking was condemning all worldly churches as false.
- We learned that White "good and right" thinking was upholding the "way" as perfect, the same the world over, today, yesterday and forever.
- We learned two specific categories: professing people were White and "with us" and all others were Black, against us and our enemies. We never learned shades of gray.
- We learned White 'good and right' thinking" was obeying the workers and keeping true to their unwritten rules.
- We learned that Black 'evil and wrong' thinking was asking questions about things we didn't understand.
- We learned that White 'good and right' thinking was striving to be perfect and measure up.
- We learned to separate our White 'good' self that attended lots of meetings and held the workers high on a pedestal from the Black 'bad' self that felt like a hypocrite if we slipped off to a movie, wanted to attend a school dance, trim our hair, wear a bit of make-up, or own a TV that we had to hide upon worker visits.
We couldn't perceive with our indoctrinated, inconsistent Black or White thinking, that the 'good' self and the 'bad' self were capable of existing within one person.
Black or White Thinking reduced a world of possibilities down to two extreme options, each one the polar opposite of the other one, with no gray in between.
Black or White thinking distorted and limited us from seeing things realistically and in balance.
The Tedious Process of Learning "Gray" Areas:
(1.) We had to accept that we’re not perfect. We are human - we make mistakes, we are fallible, we’re imperfect, and we’re vulnerable.
(2.) We had to deal with our low self-esteem and stop viewing ourselves as "good or bad!" We had to learn to stop telling ourselves that good meant perfect, therefore, we must be bad.
(3.) We had to learn to stop being so judgmental and quit expecting so much out of others. We had to learn they were human just as we are.
(4.) We had to learn that "worldly churches" were filled with God-fearing people who knew scripture and had much better spirits that we did.
(5.) We had to unlearn self-righteousness and learn that people are 'gray." No one is all good or all bad and there is no one that is always going to be exactly what we think they ought to be.
(6.) We had to unlearn the inability to change our mind easily. If we changed it, we changed it all the way. Things that were bad, and we decided they must be good, then they became completely good. If a good person did something bad, then they became a bad person.
(7.) We had to unlearn being control freaks. We REALLY felt out of control so we went overboard trying to control everyone and everything.
(8.) We had to learn possibility thinking and that we had lots of options.
(9.) We had to unlearn feeling stupid and inadequate from workers who were everything good.
How helpful it was to start the process to reduce and then attempt to eliminate Black or White thinking and stop insisting that others conform to our preconceptions.
Slowly, we've learned, upon making a mistake, to no longer hear harsh Two-by-Two criticisms going round and round in our heads.
Black and White Thinking stifled our personal growth.
Now, all of the repertoire of scare tactics, denigrating comments, and insults that made us feel so inadequate, have been replaced with "GRAY" areas between the polar opposites of “good or bad,”
Thankfully, there are many more realistic and mature ways of understanding and evaluating life now that we are happily outside the controlled box of Black or White, Two-by-Two learned "cognitive rigidity" thinking.
